I don't noe... I feel as if the root of my many problems come from one day of my life---the day I got my first Chinese homework......I didn't understand her and didn't do and then it got worse and worse, I got into more and more trouble till I am where I am now... But somehow I both regret and don't regret I. Cause if I had not made that mistake I wouldn't have meet so many ppl like Donkey, Private Ma, Siefen, ShangYi, Jolyn, Yuxi, ShiChie, etc. But the problems that choice brought along with it is now taking a Hugh toll on me. I feel as if somehow God is trying to tell me something, but i don't noe how to get rid of my bad habits. Somehow all this trouble make me think, and think. And the more i think the worse i feel. I noe some ppl think that my life is like a bed of roses or that i am always happy, but i noe that inside i am almost constantly tormented my choices i have made. i noe i can't do anything abt them and that i have to start making new choices that are good.

My heart is now confused. i don't want to say anything but it is another problem that is going to bug me till i sort through my life. After first 3 months, i don't want to make the same mistake. i should get my head and heart out of there. Maybe that's where my troubles originate from...............

So would ya be my friend?

Well the concert is juz over having another in like less than 24 hrs....a bit drained but still have energy. Well... i shall not talk abt performances but abt e ppl in ypsb well mainly clarinets....Maybe juz the AMK ppl cause they are quite nice...
first there is PuPeng,then Laura,then JiaYing and then Elena. The 4 of them arh all a bit siao siao... haha... i also a bit siao siao sometimes that's beside the pt ... They make YPSB interesting because....... i can disturb them.....muahaha....Shit ....Being lame again......on the other hand.... The whole post is a bit lame.....Never mind actually most of the time i disturb is PuPeng..... But PuPeng is nice person.... i think ...... Should be...... Ought to be bah..... haha. nah she nice and fun to disturb... blah this post is like abt her....NO!!!!!!! watever i give up...... She is a nice girl...

NY clarinets minus LiEn plus PuPeng ,Laura and JiaYing



i am not making any sense...........................



i feel like i have been through hell and back

So would ya be my friend?

Its been more than i week since the last post. Since then many interesting and exciting things have happen. mshs alumni got top band for 1st division of National Band Competiton..WHooo! Was a great feeling. Met Bryan from rosyth band now in mjc they quite sad(got silver), also saw siyun zhezhe (no idea how to spell) she was with VS they also very sad (got silver).Then since the top 3 bands for our division have to perform in some concert thus last Sunday went back to vch played invictus again. Now got ypsb and mshs concert left.

found something interesting today. Not going to say wat it is cause it is not right to say out on my blog. But this juicy piece of information really brighten my day. Been spending lots of time in sch with Siefen, Shangz and Jolyn.....And of course Donkey lah..haha... sch days are becoming more and more enjoyable.

went katrina's blog and saw her post abt the Vietnam trip... Waaaa veri jealous (got other reasons) cause i wanted to go but got band but nvm got end of the year trip too (but that trip won't have her)the pictures from her trip super nice( she looked super pretty y can't everyday be like tt? not that is is not pretty everyday but she looks good with ....think wat u want to think i don't really care)

everyday i see her talk to her but i am still am unsure whether its the right thing too do, anywayz i am determine to do my homework to prove i can be responsible to her (cause she might have the wrong impression??) and also to save my maths marks

concerts in a few days, siefen not going........... but donkey is going for one and shangz(i think) and doramon is going for other ...YEAH!!!!

So would ya be my friend?

I Feel like a Complete Loser...


No idea y... But everytime i ride the bus,walk home, take mrt , i think abt band , ypsb , mshs alumni , i feel as if i am useless.... Its like... i am sort of in charge of the bass clarinets in ypsb , musically we need help and i am not really the best to lead them musically, should be weijie but he has to take care of the clarinets in general. Now as bass clar i sit behind the clarinets.when i sit there i feel very left out feel depressed like i no longer belong to the clarinet section, the bass clars in ypsb aren't really talkative or zhi-high so i feel abit sian-ish. Then i look at the clarinets having fun, the horns ,flutes... Then i feel like i have failed its like ............ Can't really describe. Bass clar has its pro and cons but i now can see the effect of the cons really obviously and it is definitely taking a toll on me. when i come home i feel this sense of something missing in my life . In band this feeling is not there. Can't really figure out wat is wrong with me? ARH!!


Could it be because of the condition of my mental health after the last time? i noe i have no feelings for her anymore but could some of the strains from that portion of my life be affecting me now? Really confused. Sometimes i feel happy , other times i am depressed...Not sad. i am really not making sense now-a-days? My actions and words make no sense. Could it be the Stress from juggling the 2 bands?But i noe it is not really from studies. I really need someone by my side to help me and support me someone who might understand wat i am going true.(srry about this but...) i feel maybe this person may not be Donkey (plz don't take this too hard) cause he isn't in band (not that choir isn't good or anything) and wouldn't really understand my stress. But he can still be a great help in other areas .Stress is also pouring in from different points in my life like from matters of the heart. So close yet so far , maybe that is the problem.


I have the band competition in like a 12 hrs time and i can't think about wats to come.going to sch at 9 am will go to LTk hall face the old cemetery and scream.really need to do that and distress a bit.


On the bright side of things , the clarinets of ypsb are relatively fun ppl.




Blundering Into Trouble Someone Save Me...Heading Towards Meltdown,Depression...U Noe That Kind Of Stuff...HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So would ya be my friend?

Wa.... July...... wat a month.....It will be......... My calendar this month like crazy liao.....Got 2 concerts in 2 days..... 29th and 30th.... One nyjc combined with xinmin , commonwealth sec and amkss ..... The other with maris Stella. Add in a competition on the 16th and I have a grand party .... Wa nxt week after sch either at mshs or in sch at the band room...... wa..... No time to do homework and study........ Looks like I in sch will look damn stone......Well at least MSHS concert got play Danse.... Means I no need to worry abt it.

I now playing bass clarinet for the concert since HuiShan not around. Then mshs concert playing clarinet wa today jump from bass Clar to clarinet I feel as if clarinet very small like not used to it like that .... MSHS tixs selling at $10 on 30th, a Sunday at 5pm plz SMS me or find me or talk to me on messenger.

Hectic month this will be!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So would ya be my friend?